My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
