Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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