yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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