I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
