Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
