i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
