Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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