I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Green mimosas i think yes
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
