You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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