Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I can tuck mytits in my pants
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
