now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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