I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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