Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize