She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
