And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
