Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
