Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level