I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.