I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dicks are not precious.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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