I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Screwed.edu
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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