so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
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She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
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I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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