you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
