if i can run in heels then i can drive
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
