she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
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On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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