Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
