I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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