Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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