I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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