did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
