i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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