She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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