If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am spending my child support on dildos
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I believe in your delicious
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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