I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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