im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
