oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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