There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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