so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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