I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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