i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
