He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
