she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
