Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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