A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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