I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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