even my farts smell like vagina
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower