you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.