I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
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I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
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Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.