I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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