My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
