it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize