Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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