I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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