I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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