the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
