how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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