The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize