im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think weed is turning my hair brown
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize