I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize