It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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