apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
