Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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