If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
