im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
